A vacation that’s even better than you hoped
A vacation that’s even better than you hoped
Summer vacations with family or friends can be the best of times or the worst of times. Endless plane trips, boring hotel rooms, exhausting hours in the car, funky cabins, long lines or six straight days of rain — vacations can be difficult.
On the other hand, exploring new places, sharing experiences with people you enjoy or having time to just goof-off for days at a stretch can become the sweetest memories. Whether you’re spending time with people you love, meeting new friends, reuniting with relatives or getting some much-needed time alone — vacations can be the best thing since summer was invented.
Whatever you’ve planned for your vacation, you’ve done so because you’re hoping for a particular experience. But the same drive to plan for a special trip also comes with high expectations for how we want that experience to go. This summer, watch out for those great expectations and enjoy the surprise of your vacation as it unfolds.
How to have more of the best of times and less of the worst
Acknowledge and talk about expectations. If you’re traveling with family or friends, you aren’t the only one with expectations for your trip. Talking up front about what each person is hoping for is one way to help acknowledge and manage expectations. And if you’re traveling alone, have that honest conversation with yourself.
Make plans. Holding expectations lightly doesn’t mean you don’t make plans. By all means, do make plans and include everyone in the process. Well made plans that include other’s desires and help them shoulder some of the responsibility is a great way to ensure others are also managing their hope for the trip.
Allow plenty of time. Don’t jam-pack days or crowd too much into one trip. If you’re traveling with children, take short jumps instead of long leaps. Adults have different capacities for busyness as well. Know who you’re traveling with and what pace feels pleasant for them.
Keep your plans simple. Don’t schedule so many activities that there’s no time for just hanging out. Create space for alone or rest time — whether it’s quiet activities or an easy way for trip-mates to explore on their own. Tempers have a tendency to flare when everyone’s packed together for long stretches. Everyone needs recharging. Both boredom and over-stimulation can result in negative behaviors. Strive for balance.
Leave old fights behind. Over the years you may have discovered that you and your travel companions have a way of bringing old fights to new places. Talk about what triggers those emotions for each of you before leaving on the trip. Find an “interruption” you can agree on to keep an old fight from escalating once you see it starting. You may also want to spend some time together with a therapist to address the root issues contributing to those responses.
Allow for re-entry. After a big trip be sure to allow a day or two for “re-entry” before you go back to work or jump back into your summer routine. Coming home can be as stressful as leaving. Make homecoming part of the vacation, too.
However you like to get away, a vacation is meant to be a disruption from our daily routines that allows us to experience the world and those we care about in new ways. As you pack your bags, remember to pack your expectations lightly and enjoy the unexpected pleasures that come from getting away.
Author’s content used under license, © Claire Communications
Next Steps
For some of us, the emotional weights we carry from past negative experiences can affect our ability to hold expectations lightly or even to relax into being on vacation. When this is happening, trying to enact some of the suggestions listed above feels near impossible.
Working with a licensed EMDR therapist is one way you can get help to clear out negative beliefs that are holding you back. At Simmeth Counseling all of our therapists are EMDR trained, and we’ve seen the results of using EMDR, along with our other practices, to bring healing for those who have experienced trauma or negative emotional experiences.
